Speaking of rape

A close friend of mine recently came out to me that she was molested as a child.

I say came out because I think there are alot of children whose numbers never get counted because they never tell.

And I wonder why we use the term molested instead of rape. Is it not just a linguistic trick so that we don't feel as angry or bad or disgusted or vengful or sad... or do we just judge what happens to kids differnt? Like hitting a kid, if you hit an adult you go to jail for assult, you hit a kid, who cannot fight back, and its called tough love or even abuse, but abuse is not legally the same as assault.

But back to my friend. There is alot I don't know and am not sure if or how to ask. I imagine that she has no real clue as to the level of damage inflicted upon her.

And like the vast majority of cases she was not raped by a stranger: stranger danger is rarer than being hit by lightning. No, she was raped by a close family acquaintince, someone trusted by her family.

Maybe I should tell her to see someone, but I doubt she would. Either way, I think that Reagen was right about one thing, "trust but verify." You can't live your whole life not trusting anyone ever, but don't trust blindly either.

Thou Shalt Rape

I've asked this question over and over again. I've asked Rabbis and I've asked priests, I've asked people who have fallen away from their faith and I've asked believers with varying levels of education. Not a single one has supplies a satisfactory answer.



Why is their no prohibition against rape in any of the bibles?


There is room for every minor interaction under the sun, but they couldn't squeeze in "thou shalt not rape?"

I am an atheist so I have an answer that satisfies my understanding. I want an answer that satisfies a believers mindset.

Here are some of the answers I've heard:
1- women are property and its not a sin, our modern point of view is wrong
2- rape is covered by other prohibitions (although those prohibitions don't really cover rape in every case, just in specific cases where the man rapes lets say a married women where there is a prohibition against adultery.)

and that's it. Those are the only two answers I've recieved. At least the first answer is someone logical. If you belive in a god there is no reason to think that he couldn't be a masochistic rapist of a god. But assuming your god values women, why no sin against rape?

a little understanding

I have a friend who hates her mother in law. For years she has bitched and moaned and complained incessently about this woman. To be fair, her in law is a sadist with sociopathic tendancies. Regardless, your relatives are who they are and you are pretty much stuck with them. Today, after all these years, my friend confided in me that recently, as she has begun to understand how scared and alone and confused her mother in law is she has grown to love her and appreciate her in a manner of speaking.

And isn't that the truth. Most of the time, when you deal with some ass, they are usually just scared and alone and confused.

I think that there is a difference between expressing anger and meanness. Although the two are closely linked, like all leaves are green does not mean that all green things are leaves.

But you can understand and even love a bad person and you don't have to obey or be controlled by that person.

Taboo

What is taboo? Why is it taboo? Where did taboo come from?

You are correct friend, people are scared of the powerful. The passion is intoxicating. But were it not for a trick of birth, the randomness of geography that which is taboo is normal and normal absurd. Like religion, if you are born in saudi arabia odds are you're a muslim and odds are you're a christian if your from Italy.

But it is not just fear of the powerful that stymies people, there is a fear of consequences. Yes you might have crazy angry power sex with that lithe girl as kinky as yourself, but you might end up divorced and never see your kids again if you do.

Still, whatever it is it can't be as bad for me as smoking.