Two Yeshiva Boys are in a bar having drinks. After a while a girl walks over and starts chatting with one of them.
After a few minutes she asks him if he wants a blowjob.
He gets up and runs out of the bar as fast as he can.
His friend follows him out and asks him what she said that made him run out like that.
He answers “I’m not exactly sure but it had something to do with getting a job!”
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
We Have Our Own Interests
I remember, one of the first things I saw when I visited Yad V'Shem, the Holocaust Museum, were pictures from American Planes of the camps and train lines.
Israelis, Jews from as far back as I can recall often held these pictures and other events like turned back boats and late entry to the war as proof that America failed. "America hated the Jews too," they said.
And the answer that America had its own interests was never accepted. Because it was the Holocaust and it happened to us.
And than I heard Israeli President Peres, at the beginning of the Arab Spring, defending Assad & Mubarak as men of stability.
I read Wiki Leaks and learned of secret deals between Israel and Saudi Arabia.
And selling "defense" weaponry to whomever can pay.
And on and on and on.
And I ask people, how can Israel support, trade and defend dictators with barbarous regimes?
And the answer is always the same: We have our own interests.
Israelis, Jews from as far back as I can recall often held these pictures and other events like turned back boats and late entry to the war as proof that America failed. "America hated the Jews too," they said.
And the answer that America had its own interests was never accepted. Because it was the Holocaust and it happened to us.
And than I heard Israeli President Peres, at the beginning of the Arab Spring, defending Assad & Mubarak as men of stability.
I read Wiki Leaks and learned of secret deals between Israel and Saudi Arabia.
And selling "defense" weaponry to whomever can pay.
And on and on and on.
And I ask people, how can Israel support, trade and defend dictators with barbarous regimes?
And the answer is always the same: We have our own interests.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Adult Medicine
A number of years back I was in an accident. The lowest disc in my spine shattered and the shards floated into the spinal canal and began to carve up the spinal root sac.
I had a number of surgeries and treatments and years of rehab.
I also had loads of pills. I had morphine, Vicodin, Felxerall, Valium, Oxycontin and Lyrica just to name the main drugs I was taking.
And they didn't work. Or rather, they did work for pain in the sense that if I took enough, eventually I would pass out and not feel the pain. But there was no in-between; either I took enough to get unconscious or I was devastatingly high but still in pain.
I have been prescribed medical cannabis.
And it works. I am functional, I can work, I can interact and it more effectively deals with the pain and nerve involvement than any pill I've taken.
These doctors have given me back a life.
What I don't understand is who is against this treatment? Why is it even an issue? How can anyone imagine that Medical Marijuana is worse than the pills they gave me?
It's nice to be treated like an adult and get the most effective treatments with the fewest side-effects. Why can't everyone have this? Why do you need to be in the right location, the right State or Country? Why do you need to go through years of disgusting and noneffective treatments before they finally give you something cheap and simple that works?
And every single person I see at the dispensary says the same exact thing. Every time a doctor, nurse or staffer walks by they are greeted by a row or people all of whom stop them and thank them and are grateful for getting their lives back. Cancers, MS, Accidents and more... across the board.
It's a flower, a plant. Please stop being stupid.
It's time we stopped putting religion and politics above the well being of real people.
I had a number of surgeries and treatments and years of rehab.
I also had loads of pills. I had morphine, Vicodin, Felxerall, Valium, Oxycontin and Lyrica just to name the main drugs I was taking.
And they didn't work. Or rather, they did work for pain in the sense that if I took enough, eventually I would pass out and not feel the pain. But there was no in-between; either I took enough to get unconscious or I was devastatingly high but still in pain.
I have been prescribed medical cannabis.
And it works. I am functional, I can work, I can interact and it more effectively deals with the pain and nerve involvement than any pill I've taken.
These doctors have given me back a life.
What I don't understand is who is against this treatment? Why is it even an issue? How can anyone imagine that Medical Marijuana is worse than the pills they gave me?
It's nice to be treated like an adult and get the most effective treatments with the fewest side-effects. Why can't everyone have this? Why do you need to be in the right location, the right State or Country? Why do you need to go through years of disgusting and noneffective treatments before they finally give you something cheap and simple that works?
And every single person I see at the dispensary says the same exact thing. Every time a doctor, nurse or staffer walks by they are greeted by a row or people all of whom stop them and thank them and are grateful for getting their lives back. Cancers, MS, Accidents and more... across the board.
It's a flower, a plant. Please stop being stupid.
It's time we stopped putting religion and politics above the well being of real people.
Monday, October 10, 2011
A Tale of Two Israels
My orthodox brother lives in an Orthodox community in the Jerusalem side of the country. I like to tell him that I live in a Mediterranean country. I live not far from the sea. In my area there are all the restaurants and shopping and clubs and malls and bars and events you could hope to find living in a European style country at the edge of the Mediterranean Sea. And he lives in the Middle East.
That split between Israels was crystallized for me this past Yom Kippur.
This was my second Yom Kippur in Israel. This was my brother's 21st.
The day after Yom Kippur I spoke with my brother and we talked about the holiday. I told him how interesting it is that the streets in my area are filled with people on bicycles. No cars drive on Yom Kippur. So the roads are absolutely filled with walkers and bikers. It is a real cultural event in Israel to bike ride on Yom Kippur. I taught my 8 year old how to ride her two wheeler and by Yom Kippur afternoon she was zipping down the streets with the crowd. My 5 year old son was happily racing her on his bike with training wheels.
And this event, which is ineffably linked to Yom Kippur in Israel for a huge chunk of the country, is virtually foreign to my brother's community. He's read about it in newspapers, but even if he weren't in shul all day, they don't bike around his neighborhood on Yom Kippur.
And I think that may be part of Israel's problem. When Israel presents herself to the world, the world sees the Israel of the Middle East, not the Israel of the Mediterranean .
That split between Israels was crystallized for me this past Yom Kippur.
This was my second Yom Kippur in Israel. This was my brother's 21st.
The day after Yom Kippur I spoke with my brother and we talked about the holiday. I told him how interesting it is that the streets in my area are filled with people on bicycles. No cars drive on Yom Kippur. So the roads are absolutely filled with walkers and bikers. It is a real cultural event in Israel to bike ride on Yom Kippur. I taught my 8 year old how to ride her two wheeler and by Yom Kippur afternoon she was zipping down the streets with the crowd. My 5 year old son was happily racing her on his bike with training wheels.
And this event, which is ineffably linked to Yom Kippur in Israel for a huge chunk of the country, is virtually foreign to my brother's community. He's read about it in newspapers, but even if he weren't in shul all day, they don't bike around his neighborhood on Yom Kippur.
And I think that may be part of Israel's problem. When Israel presents herself to the world, the world sees the Israel of the Middle East, not the Israel of the Mediterranean .
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